Love & Money: Keeping the Romance Alive in Your Relationship with Money
Like any great love story, your relationship with money needs care, attention, and the occasional check-in. Here's how to nurture a healthy money mindset and keep the love alive.
Love is in the air… and in the stores. Everywhere I turn, I’m greeted with chocolates, Valentine’s Day cards, and stuffed animals. Love comes in many forms—romantic, platonic, self-love, and even the love we have for our work, home, and dreams.
But here’s one that surprises people: your relationship with money.
“Money is money,” they say. But the way we relate to money—the attention, care, and mindset we bring to it—makes all the difference. A healthy, happy, loving relationship creates greater prosperity. A neglected, avoidant, or resentful relationship? That leads to stress, struggle, and scarcity.
Revisiting My Letter to Money
Back in 2021, I wrote a Letter to Money. It was a turning point.
At the time, I wasn’t just avoiding my finances—I was avoiding the emotions, stories, desires, and disappointments tied to money. That letter helped me shift from avoidance to nurturing. Instead of seeing money as something stressful or distant, I began treating it like a relationship—one that deserved care, attention, and trust.
Since then, I’ve built strong financial habits: weekly budgeting, tracking my income, and making more mindful decisions. But nearly four years later, I realized something: it had been a long time since I truly checked in on my relationship with money.
To do that, I turned to Kate Northrup’s Money: A Love Story and reflected on some key questions.
A Relationship Check-In: 5 Reflection Questions
Every strong relationship needs check-ins. Whether it’s with a spouse, a friend, or money, reflection helps us nurture what matters most.
Here’s what I found when I asked myself these questions:
💰 Do you have any sources of income that come in no matter if you work or not?
Right now, my passive income is minimal—mostly from interest in my high-yield savings and retirement accounts. It adds up to less than $100 a year. I’d like to increase that through investments, stocks, bonds, and possibly passive real estate options (without active management!). I also want to create evergreen products for my coaching business to generate sustainable income.
💚 Do you consciously spend money on the things you most value?
To a degree, yes. I prioritize spending on things that matter to me—education, travel, and experiences that enrich my life. But I’ve noticed that my approach has become less intentional over time. Right now, I save $125 a week, but there isn’t much conscious planning around where that money is going. I’d like to bring more mindfulness to my financial choices, making sure they align with my values and long-term goals.
💰Do you enjoy taking financial actions like paying bills, talking to your accountant, and checking in on your investments?
This is an area where I’ve made huge progress. When I wrote my Letter to Money, I avoided my finances entirely—I couldn’t even log into my bank account without anxiety. Now, I check in on my finances daily. That’s a big win!
That said, I’d like to feel more freedom when paying bills. Even though I always have the money, I sometimes worry I don’t. Old fears linger. One way I’m addressing this is by creating a financial contract with myself—setting clear spending guidelines so I can trust my decisions instead of second-guessing them.
💚 Do you avoid looking at bank statements, credit card bills, and other financial paperwork?
Not anymore! This used to be one of my biggest struggles, but I’ve come a long way. However, I do find myself procrastinating on things like tax prep—my paperwork for this year is currently sitting in a pile, waiting for me. That’s an area for improvement.
💰Do you space out, get bored, or resist learning about money?
Yes! I’ve bought several money books over the past year that are still sitting unopened on my nightstand. But I have made progress—I finished Mind Over Money last year, and I’m actively working through Overcoming Underearning: A Five Step Plan to a Richer Life now — with Money: A Love Story up next. To stay consistent, I’m adding a daily habit of reading at least a few pages on personal finance.
Keeping the Love Alive: Monthly Money Dates
Reflecting on these questions reminded me that financial growth isn’t a one-and-done event—it’s a relationship that needs care and attention. Just like a marriage thrives with communication and quality time, so does our relationship with money.
That’s why I’m making a new commitment: a monthly money date.
This won’t just be a time to review my numbers—it’ll be a time to connect with my financial story. To check in emotionally, celebrate progress, and make any needed adjustments. And because love deserves celebration, I’m also adding a separate date to acknowledge the wins—big or small.
Money & Love: A Work in Progress
After 31 years of marriage, I know that love stories endure through TLC, patience, and a willingness to evolve. The same is true for money.
There are always dings and dents along the way, but those don’t mean failure—they mean opportunity. With reflection and care, our relationship with money can grow stronger, more stable, and more abundant.
So, as Valentine’s Day rolls around, I invite you to check in: How’s your relationship with money? What’s one loving action you can take today to nurture it?
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What’s one small step you’ll take today to nurture your relationship with money? Let me know in the comments!
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